


in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom

by O Lord Heal This OAbsalom (OAbsalom)



Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Discord: O Lord Heal This Server, Gratuitous Tweezing, Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies, Post-Episode: Good Omens: Lockdown, Transcendental Boredom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OAbsalom/pseuds/O%20Lord%20Heal%20This%20OAbsalom
Summary: And so it happened, he was, you know,being Crowley, and his eyes narrowed at the little red curls.Wherein Crowley gets into some questionable grooming while he is mindlessly, transcendentally bored during the lockdown.(Crackfic)
Series: if i'm sincere today, what does it matter if i regret it tomorrow? [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733320
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16
Collections: The Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies of OLHTS





	in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [**Not-So-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies**](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/OLHTCrack) wherein O Lord Heal This (Discord) Server gets together with a terrible, ungodly crack prompt and writes our best worst fic in 300 words or less, average word count 1.5k. 
> 
> Thank you, my dearest [Veevethan (vol_ctrl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vol_ctrl) for all of your amazing work putting this monstrosity of an event together, keeping everyone on track, and delegating like a boss.
> 
> This week's prompt: "We know what Aziraphale says he's up to during the lockdown. Is that actually true? And hey, what about _Crowley_?" Winner of this week's _Grossest Imagery Award_. Thanks, guys.

It had started out innocently enough. Well, as innocent as Crowley was capable of being. He'd been bored as Heaven for weeks now and was finally dipping into the mindlessness of a man dropped into a sensory deprivation tank. Nothing sounded like a good idea. Anything sounded like a good idea.

And so it happened, he was, you know, _being Crowley_ , and his eyes narrowed at the little red curls. One was decidedly stunted, likely something to do with some inner workings like _pores_ , which, he always hated to see that. He might not be human, but he essentially had a human body, and they just malfunction in the strangest ways. He realized that in his mindless boredom, he must have stopped expecting them to grow one way or the other, (Er, that is not at all. Smooth as a peach, he typically was) so they must have defaulted to the natural order of things. He cringed a bit and reminded himself he'd best not open the fridge.

He could have miracled the situation away quickly, but that's a game he gave up a week into the lockdown. Doing things longhand killed _much_ more time. At least it was a walk to the bathroom. A dig through the medicine cabinet. And it was just a pluck anyway, not like he was going to take to waxing or anything.

...but that one also was a little short.

...and that one, why was it _brown_?

... well, now it was just all _uneven_.

And so, for the better part of an afternoon, as he gave himself a tweezer brazilian one hair at a time, the demon Crowley was not bored. 

**Author's Note:**

> "HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING, DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM." - Death, _Hogfather_ , Sir Terry Pratchett


End file.
